I am confident in my own knowledge.

Updated: Jun 27

* Each Monday, or as required, apply a new affirmation to your daily practice*

Up until a few years ago I thought that being the best, knowing the most and continuous study (and an astronomical student debt) would make me successful in life. Unknowingly, I thought that it would make me feel seen, valued, loved and it would take me on a pathway to ultimate fulfilment, having impact and loving myself and who I was. But... 6 months into my PhD I found myself feeling empty, lost and in deep despair with the discovery that I could never know enough, I could never be ‘successful enough’ (with the definition of success that I held at the time), I could never study enough, and I could never be perfect enough in my eyes or anyone else's in order to love myself fully, completely, and unconditionally.

The truth was, I didn’t like who I was. In fact, I had frequent thoughts of “I hate who I am”.

The feeling of despair that came when I reached my goal of achieving first class Honours in my undergraduate degree shocked me, in that I thought it would be enough, yet it wasn’t. I still felt like I wasn’t good enough, I had more proving to do… I had to get another piece of paper to validate my own ability, my own skill, my own knowledge, my own worth. I convinced myself that I had to do it, I would regret it if I didn't, someone with my academic record should do it, and I’m expected to; “what would people think of me if I didn't do it?”

Six months into my PhD and putting constant pressure on myself to be perfect, I cracked. It suddenly dawned on me that there is no such thing as enough, we never arrive, we are never perfect. Life is a continuous journey, as is learning, as is self-knowledge, as is yoga, as is everything. I quickly realised that no degree, no award, no money, no amount of academic achievement could give me that sense of ultimate ‘success’, ultimate self-worth, ultimate self-love that I was searching for. The piece of paper didn’t matter, but the denial of the self did. The denial that I was good enough, I was talented enough, I did know enough, I was enough. The denial of my emotions, of my health, of the quiet voice from within that asked, “what am I doing with my life?” That mattered. And so, I began the journey towards loving myself, towards believing in myself, towards listening to myself, towards trusting and believing in who I am and in the knowledge that I am enough.

And in knowing this, I choose to step into this power of self-knowledge, of the learnings that life experience and this journey has gifted me, to learn to be confident and to trust that this knowledge is enough to lead me towards my vision, my heart's truest desire. Of course, we never stop learning in life, whether it be a consciously chosen (or unconsciously) experience, a course, a reflection. Life is a lesson in itself, a huge lesson, a gift and you don’t need that piece of paper or approval from others to say that you made it to the end, that you were good enough to make it. All you need is to be confident that you made it worthwhile, that you chose to learn the lessons and to stand confident in your own experience, in your own knowledge, in who you are, and in your own love.

I am confident in my own knowledge.

Suggested daily practice:

Each and every morning -

  1. Wash your face

  2. Brush your teeth

  3. Drink a glass of water (filtered is preferable)

  4. Take a comfortable seat (maybe put on a salt lamp, some soft music or light some incense if you like)

  5. Take three deep belly breaths (Raja pranayama)

  6. Have your affirmation written out before you and begin to silently repeat your it in your minds eye

  7. When you feel ready, close you eyes and continue to repeat the affirmation

  8. Feel what it feels like in your body to fully surrender to your affirmation

  9. Notice these feelings, let yourself truly experience them

  10. Say It. Feel It. Live It - continue for a minimum of 5 minutes and when you are ready begin your beautiful day!

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